Being with your Newborn: A Guide for New Parents
Caring for your newborn—practical, science-backed, and heart-centered
If you’re a new mom, dad, caregiver, grandparent, or mother’s helper—welcome. The first months with a newborn can feel tender, overwhelming, beautiful, and exhausting all at once. This guide is here to support you as you learn how to care for your baby in ways that nourish their body, brain, and emotional world—while helping you stay grounded too.
How You See Your Baby Matters
The way you see your baby shapes the way you care for them. Yes, your newborn is tiny, adorable, and deeply dependent on you. But they are also a capable, aware human being, learning from the very beginning.
In the first year of life, your baby’s brain forms over a million neural connections per second. They begin life with a brain that’s about 25% of its adult size, and by the end of the first year it nearly doubles. This growth doesn’t come from gadgets, rigid schedules, or doing things “right.” It comes from relationship—from presence, gentleness, and respect.
When you slow down and truly see your baby as a whole person, your caregiving naturally becomes more thoughtful and responsive.
Holding Your Baby
Your hands are your baby’s first experience of the world. Through your touch, you communicate safety, love, and trust.
Move slowly and gently when picking up, carrying, or laying your baby down. Holding your baby horizontally allows them to see your face, study your expressions, and feel connected to you. Remember that your baby has just transitioned from the warm, weightless environment of the womb into a world that is brighter, louder, and cooler. Respecting gravity and moving with care helps them feel secure.
Notice how your baby responds. At first, their body may feel curled or tense. With calm, gentle handling, they gradually relax, stretch, and begin to explore their own movements.
It’s also helpful to observe the environment. If your baby cries, consider what might be uncomfortable—temperature, noise, light, or overstimulation. Observation allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than react quickly.
You may find yourself wondering, “Am I holding them the right way?” or “What if they cry every time I put them down?”These questions are part of learning your baby—and yourself. The more you stay observant the more you will get to know your baby and in time you will learn to anticipate his needs.
Communicating with Your Baby
Respectful communication begins at birth. Your baby may not understand your words yet, but they understand tone, rhythm, and intention.
Before picking them up, changing a diaper, or moving their body, let them know what’s about to happen. A soft voice, eye contact, or a brief pause helps your baby feel included and respected.
It’s also okay to share your own feelings. If your baby is crying and their basic needs have been checked, you might say:
“I am sorry you are crying so much, I hear you. I’m new at this and I am learning as I go. I love you, and I’m here with you.”
Speaking honestly helps both you and your baby feel understood. These moments build trust—one interaction at a time.
When Your Baby Cries
Calm creates calm—but calm doesn’t have to mean perfect.
Babies are deeply sensitive to the emotional tone around them, especially to their parents and caregivers. Crying isn’t something to fix or fear—it’s your baby’s first language. Babies cry to express feelings, release stress, and communicate needs.
Often, the most powerful support you can offer is your calm presence. And even when calm feels hard to access—when you’re tired, unsure, or overwhelmed—simply staying present is enough. Your baby doesn’t need perfection. They need you.
As Magda Gerber reminds us:
“Don’t rely on tricks or distractions—infants don’t need them, and neither do you. Your baby learns to be calm by observing a calm parent in a calm environment.”
By listening, acknowledging, and holding your baby gently, you teach them that feelings are safe and manageable.
You may find yourself wondering:
How long do I stay with my baby when they’re crying?
What if I’ve tried everything and nothing works?
What does ‘being present’ really look like at 2 a.m.?
These questions don’t have one right answer. They are part of the relationship you are building—and part of learning to trust both your baby and you. In time you will be attune to your baby and will learn what sooths him, what not, stay observant.
Feeding Your Baby
Breast milk is ideal for the first six months and remains valuable well beyond that, though what matters most—regardless of how you feed—is responsiveness.
Newborns need to eat on demand. Their stomachs are tiny, and hunger doesn’t follow a schedule. Learn to recognize early hunger cues such as rooting, sucking on hands, or smacking lips. Crying is a late signal.
Feeding is more than nourishment—it’s a relationship. Allow your baby to guide the pace and rhythm. When you stay attentive and responsive, your baby learns communication, collaboration, and trust from the very beginning.
Play and Movement
Once your baby’s basic needs are met, offer them a safe, simple space to move freely. Babies are often held for about half of their waking hours; the rest of the time can be spent exploring on the floor, in a bassinet, or in a play area.
Place your baby on their back on a firm, safe surface and allow movement to unfold naturally. Rolling, sitting, crawling, and exploring happen best when they are not rushed or placed into positions they can’t reach on their own.
Support natural movement by offering:
Plenty of open floor time
Minimal equipment
Soft, non-restrictive clothing
Freedom to move during both play and rest
Parents often ask, “What if my baby seems unhappy on the floor?” or “Am I doing enough?” These questions are part of learning to trust—not just your baby’s development, but your own instincts. You can start placing your baby on his back for short periods of time in the beginning but be consistent, soon he will learn to enjoy the freedom he has to move.
A Note About Sleep
You may be wondering why sleep isn’t covered here—especially since newborn sleep is one of the biggest topics on every parent’s mind. Sleep deserves its own thoughtful conversation, free from rigid rules, quick fixes, or unrealistic expectations.
Newborn sleep is deeply connected to development, feeding, regulation, and relationship, and it cannot be reduced to a few simple tips. For that reason, sleep will be explored in its own dedicated blog. Stay tuned—we’ll go there together.
Technology and Baby Monitors
Technology can be helpful—but it’s not a substitute for intuition. Many modern baby gadgets promise peace of mind yet often increase anxiety and pull parents away from their own instincts and observations.
For generations, caregivers have relied on their senses—watching breathing, feeling skin temperature, noticing cues, and responding with touch and presence. Most tracking devices aren’t necessary for healthy babies and can undermine confidence.
If technology helps you feel more secure—especially in the early days—it’s okay to use it. Just remember that no device can replace your growing ability to read your baby through relationship, observation, and care.
Medical tools have their place. Your intuition does too.
Caring for Yourself, Too
Caring for a newborn isn’t only about learning your baby—it’s also about learning yourself. These early weeks can bring joy, tenderness, doubt, frustration, and deep love, sometimes all in the same hour. If you ever feel unsure, overwhelmed, or emotionally stretched, know that this doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re becoming a parent.
A Gentle Reminder
You don’t need an app, a strict schedule, or constant reassurance to parent well. By slowing down, observing, and respecting your baby, you naturally meet their needs.
You already have what it takes to care for your child—and yourself—during these precious early months. Every gentle touch, every calm word, every moment of presence builds a foundation of love, trust, and confidence that lasts a lifetime.
Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. And in that presence, both you and your baby can truly thrive.
Want to Go Deeper Before or After Baby Arrives?
Many parents leave these early weeks with questions like:
How do I know when to step in and when to wait?
How do I stay connected when I’m exhausted?
How do I build trust with my baby—and with myself?
These are the kinds of questions we explore slowly and thoughtfully in Before Baby, my course for parents who want to begin this journey with clarity, confidence, and intention.
Before Baby is offered both online and in person, creating space to learn, reflect, and feel supported—wherever you are.